Do I still exist?

Haba Ng Hair Mo, Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah!!!

2009-02-16T23:51:00.000-08:00

IKAW ANG SUPERHERO NG BUHAY KO

Ano ba ang sukatan ng pagkalalaki
Sa lalim ba ng boses o sa tibay ng tindig?
Nasusukat ba ito sa dami ng pinangakuan ng pag-ibig?
Sa lahat nang nakilala sa ‘yo lamang humanga
Sa tapang at lambot ng iyong puso
Ang kaligtasan ng lahat ay tinanganan mo sa palad mo
Ikaw ang superhero ng buhay ko, ikaw…
Hindi ka man lumilipad, napakalayo ng iyong narating
Nais kong sumama saan ka man magpunta
Hawakan mo ako
Maglalakbay tayo
Pinakita mo sa aking mayroon pang hihigit
Sa katahimikang nakasanayan ko
Tulad mo’y nagsimula akong managinip
Ang bugnot kong mundo binuhay mo
Ikaw ang superhero ng buhay kong, ikaw…
Pagod ka man ngayon, ako naman ang papasan sa iyo
Halika na sa piling ko, kita’y iuuwi
Dito sa bisig ko
Ika’y mahimbing
Ikaw ang superhero ng buhay ko
Ikaw...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFk4TdwqknM

T A R U S H ! ! !

Emotionally Battered Ka Ba?

2009-02-13T20:41:00.000-08:00

An abusive partner will railroad discussions, so that you don't have time to think about what's right and what's wrong in their behavior.

Take a moment to consider these questions. Your partner might have behaved as though these things were okay, even though it's obvious that they aren't okay...:

Do you feel that you can't discuss with your partner what is bothering you?
Does your partner frequently criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem?
Does your partner ridicule you for expressing yourself?
Does your partner isolate you from friends, family or groups?
Does your partner limit your access to work, money or material resources?
Has your partner ever stolen from you? Or run up debts for you to handle?
Does your relationship swing back and forth between a lot of emotional distance and being very close?
Have you ever felt obligated to have sex, just to avoid an argument about it?
Do you sometimes feel trapped in the relationship?
Has your partner ever thrown away your belongings, destroyed objects or threatened pets?
Are you afraid of your partner?

One aspect of emotional abuse is that it eventually brainwashes the victim.

THE PROCESS OF BRAINWASHING(MIND CONTROL)

1. The brainwasher keeps the victim unaware of what is going on and what changes are taking place.
Your partner might control your finances, make plans for you, or not tell you what his plans are until the last minute. He may talk about you to others behind your back, to isolate you from them.
2. The brainwasher controls the victim's time and physical environment, and works to suppress much of the victim's old behavior. The victim is slowly, or abruptly, isolated from all supportive persons except the brainwasher.
Your partner might have insisted that you stop certain social, hobby, or work activities. You might have gotten moved to a new location, farther away from your family and friends. Or you may have been asked (or told) to reduce or stop contact with specific supportive people in your life.
3. The brainwasher creates in the victim a sense of powerlessness, fear, and dependency.
Verbal and emotional abuse creates these emotions, and they become stronger and stronger over time.
4. The brainwasher works to instill new behavior and attitudes in the victim.
Your partner trains you to behave in ways that he wants you to behave. He gradually makes you feel differently about yourself, and erodes your confidence in yourself.
5. The brainwasher puts forth a closed system of logic, and allows no real input or criticism.
In other words -- What he says, goes.

CYCLE OF ABUSE

Phase 1 - TENSION BUILDING:Tension increases, breakdown of communication, victim feels need to placate the abuser.
Phase 2 - INCIDENT:Verbal and emotional abuse. Anger, blaming, arguing. Threats. Intimidation.
Phase 3 - RECONCILIATION:Abuser apologizes, gives excuses, blames the victim, denies the abuse occurred, or says it wasn't as bad as the victim claims.

Phase 4 - CALM:Incident is "forgotten", no abuse is taking place.

To consider whether your partner emotionally abuses you, look at the information available on physical abusers. The patterns are similar:

COMMON CHARACTERISTICS OF ABUSERS

* He was verbally abused as a child, or witnessed it in his own family.
* He has an explosive temper, triggered by minor frustrations and arguments.
* Abusers are extremely possessive and jealous. They experience an intense desire to control their mates.
* His sense of masculinity depends on the woman's dependency upon him. He feels like a man only if his partner is totally submissive and dependent on him.
* Abusers often have superficial relationships with other people. Their primary, if not exclusive, relationship is with their wife/girlfriend.
* He has low self-esteem.
* He has rigid expectations of marriage (or partnership) and will not compromise. He expects her to behave according to his expectations of what a wife should be like; often the way his parents' marriage was, or its opposite. He demands that she change to accommodate his expectations.
* He has a great capacity for self-deception. He projects the blame for his relationship difficulties onto his partner. He would not be drunk if she didn't nag him so much. He wouldn't get angry if only she would do what she's supposed to do. He denies the need for counseling because there's nothing wrong with him. Or he agrees to get counseling and then avoids it or makes excuses to not follow through. He might not want her to get counseling because, he reasons, she wouldn't have any problems if she only turned to him.
* He may be described as having a dual personality -- he is either charming or exceptionally cruel. He is selfish or generous depending on his mood.
* A major characteristic of abusers is their capacity to deceive others. He can be cool, calm, charming and convincing: a con man.
* The mate is usually a symbol. The abuser doesn't relate to his partner as a person in her own right, but as a symbol of a significant other. This is especially true when he's angry. He assumes that she is thinking, feeling, or acting like that significant other -- often his mother.

EFFECTS OF LONG-TERM EMOTIONAL & VERBAL ABUSE ON THE VICTIM

Isolation from others - Low self-esteem - Depression - Emotional problems - Illness - Increased alcohol or drug use - Withdrawal from real life into an Internet alternative reality

Mood Disorder and Mood Swings Discussed

2009-01-01T21:39:00.001-08:00

OVERVIEW

Mood disorders affect a lot of people and are classified as a form of depression. Although most individuals may experience slight mood changes on a daily, weekly or monthly basis, the more advanced forms of mood disorders can develop into bipolar disorder (manic depression) and can have serious mental and physical consequences if left untreated.

Mood swings are characterized by periods, commonly referred to as episodes, of mania and depression. During an episode of mania, one may experience an abnormally elevated mood, irritability, decreased need for sleep, increased talking and racing thoughts. During episodes of depression, one may experience persistent sad and empty moods, loss of interest in activities, feelings of guilt, feelings of worthlessness and physical ailments such as headaches, chronic pain or digestive disorders.

Treating mood swings has an 80% to 90% success rate for those who seek help. However, only about one third (1/3) of individuals who have a mood disorder choose to seek treatment. As a result, over sixty percent of individuals who suffer from this potentially debilitating disorder never find relief.

CAUSES

Mood related episodes of mania and depression typically recur during a person's life. Between episodes, most people with mood swings are free of symptoms, but as many as one-third of people have some residual symptoms. A small percentage of people experience chronic unremitting symptoms despite treatment.

Most modern research indicates that mood disorder may be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. When we experience feelings such as happiness, stress, fear, depression or anxiety, the brain releases chemicals called neurotransmitters. It is the release and re-absorption of these neurotransmitters that affects how we feel. People who experience anxiety and depression related disorders may have an imbalance of the neurotransmitters serotonin, norepenephrine, GABA and dopamine. There are medicines available that are designed to help 're-balance' the release, reuptake and absorption of these key neurotransmitters.

DEPRESSIVE SYMPTOMS

Individuals with mood disorders experience episodes of mania and depression with some, or all, of the following symptoms associated.

Depression

~Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" moods
~Loss of interest or pleasure in common activities
~Loss of sexual pleasure or function
~Irritability, restlessness or excessive crying
~Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness, pessimism
~Sleeping too much or too little
~Insomnia
~Loss of Appetite and/or weight loss
~Overeating and weight gain
~Decreased energy, fatigue, feeling "slowed down"
~Suicidal thoughts, or suicide attempts
~Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
~Forgetfulness or trouble remembering
~Persistence of physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain

People with mood disorder and mood swings can lead healthy and productive lives when the disorder is effectively treated. Without treatment, however, the natural course of mood disorder tends to worsen. Previous experiences may build on the next cycle. Over time a person may suffer more frequent (more rapid-cycling) and more severe manic and depressive episodes than those experienced when the mood swings first appeared. But in most cases, proper treatment can help reduce the frequency and severity of episodes and can help people with mood disorder maintain good quality of life.

MANIA SYMPTOMS

Individuals with mood disorders experience episodes of mania and depression with some, or all, of the following symptoms associated.

Mania

~Abnormally elevated mood
~Irritability
~Decreased need for sleep
~Grandiose ideas or notions
~Increased talking
~Racing thoughts
~Increased activity
~An increase in sexual activity
~Visible increase in energy
~Poor judgment that leads to risk-taking behavior
~Inappropriate social behavior

A MANIC EPISODE

Manic episodes may begin with what is experienced as an improvement or upward shift in mood. You may feel more energetic, more able to concentrate and focus, and may find that you can work better and more productively. In the early stages of a manic episode, the you might feel quite euphoric (i.e., unusually happy or feelings of unusual content). A decreased need for sleep at the outset of a manic episode is very common. You may be up for days on end and still feel energetic, or you may awaken several hours earlier than usual.

As the episode progresses, thoughts and speech both seem to race. Ideas in your head jump from one topic to another in a dizzying jumble (this is what mental health professionals may refer to as "flight of ideas"), and the speech becomes even more rapid (or what mental health professionals call "pressured"). You may feel like talking for hours on end. In a more severe form, speech may become totally incoherent.

The initial increased sense of well-being brings with it an increased sense of confidence, but as your episode progresses, your judgment becomes impaired. You may begin to believe that they can accomplish things that they cannot realistically accomplish or otherwise engage in grandiose thinking.

Someone in a severely manic state is in as much danger as an individual with major depression. Overly confident (and having grandiose thoughts), there is an excess of what are usually thought of as "approach behaviors." Anything the that you might seek out while in normal mood (such as sex, alcohol or drugs, or excitement) becomes magnified. Wild spending sprees or impulsive purchases are not uncommon, nor are impulsive marriages or major commitments.

As with depression, in severe mania, an individual might experience hallucinations. With or without hallucinations, however, individuals in severely manic states had a significant mortality rate until doctors began treating it. In some cases, death was accidental, but related to the risk-taking or impulsive behaviors. In other cases, patients died of dehydration (they might neglect to eat and drink in their manic state) or cardiovascular collapse as the body couldn't keep up with increased psychomotor agitation and 'racing.'

Finding treatment for mood swings, depression, mania and/or bipolar depression is essential to feeling better.

I understand what you're going through... I'm here to help you seek medical treatment. Don't worry... You're still far from going crazy. There's hope. Always remember, GOD is good... ALL THE TIME.

File Sent ;o)

2008-12-31T22:52:00.000-08:00

I'LL BE ALRIGHT

It's time for me to let you know
I am so glad that I have you
Through all these years
I am so thankful

Now that I've grown
I'll always be thinking of you
With all the things you taught me so
Always remember

I'll be alright, I'll be OK
I will be good in learning all the way
All from the heart, these things I do
I'll make you proud because I love you
I'll be alright, I'll be OK
I will be fine
And I'll be good all the way
All from the heart, these things I do
I'll make you proud because I do
I love you so

I will stand tall and I'll try not to fall
As I reach all of my goals
I will go on, I will move on
All because of you
For you

I'll be alright, I'll be OK
I will be good in learning all the way
All from the heart, these things I do
I'll make you proud because I love you
I'll be alright, I'll be OK
I will be fine
And I'll be good all the way
All from the heart, these things I do
I'll make you proud because I do
I love you so
I love you so
I love you so

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lARvpH5cxEs&feature=related

HE sent me this file... Just wanna share. HE's extra nice on a splendid new year. Great thing... Highly aprreciated. As much as possible, I want 2009 to be "grudge-free"... It's a good start. GOD is really good! ;o)

A BLESSED NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

Chasing Pavements - Adele

2008-12-12T22:37:00.000-08:00

I've made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over,
If I'm wrong I am right,
Don't need to look no further,
This ain't lust,
I know this is love but,

If I tell the world,
I'll never say enough,
Cause it was not said to you,
And that's exactly what I need to do,
If I'm in love with you,

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

I'd build myself up,
And fly around in circles,
Waiting as my heart drops,
And my back begins to tingle
Finally could this be it

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep on chasing pavements?
Should I just keep on chasing pavements?

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up, Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVctaDmwhJQ

Adele Laurie Blue Adkins (born 5 May 1988 in Tottenham, North London), known professionally as Adele, is a British four time Grammy Award-nominated singer. Adele has described her musical style as "heartbroken soul." She is the first recipient of the BRIT Awards Critics' Choice, which was given to artists who, at the time, had yet to release an album. She has noted American jazz and blues singers Etta James and Ella Fitzgerald as influences. She debuted at number one with her Mercury Prize-nominated debut album 19 on the UK album chart; the disc has since been certified platinum with sales of more than 500,000 copies. After the album peaked at #54 on the Billboard 200 chart on 8 July, 2008 (and #36 on the magazine's "Top Heatseekers" chart) Adele performed before an estimated audience of 14 million television viewers on Saturday Night Live, leading to a very strong showing on a couple of notable download charts, and leading the album to leap from #46 to #11 on the official chart.

SoOoO sLoW

2008-11-26T18:58:00.000-08:00

I guess I'm now at a point where I want to assess my life again (for the Nth time...) and see where I really am.

It's just so funny that I'm making myself bleed again, for reasons I am fully aware of... Not because I am a masochist, but because I have to face the hurt so I can move on.

Moving on is a very hard process. It doesn't always entail a closure or an end to be able to move forward. It may also mean holding on to what you have and just plainly continue.

As to where I am right now? Honestly, that I cannot answer. But I'm in no rush. I'm taking things really slow this time. I don't want another mishap... Not again... (Oh, spare me, phulease!!!)

I'm starting to live my life to the fullest... Being able to stop and take the time to smell the flowers... Literally.

I'm seeking Divine intervention... As always... For I may not be able to battle life's harshness as it pounds my very soul without it.

I'm at peace with everyone... No exceptions. Being friends with the people you never thought possible is the best gift friendship has given me. (To my new found friends... I love you all dearly!)

I'm trying to be a child at heart again. Their innocence never fails to bring out the goodness in each one of us.

I've no ill feelings to those who wronged me... All I do now is to pray for all of you, so that you may be blessed with a heart full of love and compassion for the people you have caused pain.

I am breathing well now... And I thank GOD for a very positive outlook that I currently have.

I'm wishing everyone a very splendid day.

The Princess is overjoyed... GOD is really good... All the time!

Patroness of the Unborn

2008-11-23T23:32:00.000-08:00

Our Lady of Guadalupe - Guadalupe, Mexico (1531)

The opening of the New World brought with it both fortune-seekers and religous preachers desiring to convert the native populations to the Christian faith. One of the converts was a poor Aztec indian named Juan Diego. On one of his trips to the chapel, Juan was walking through the Tepayac hill country in central Mexico. Near Tepayac Hill he encountered a beautiful woman surrounded by a ball of light as bright as the sun. Speaking in his native tongue, the beautiful lady identified herself:

"My dear little son, I love you. I desire you to know who I am. I am the ever-virgin Mary, Mother of the true God who gives life and maintains its existence. He created all things. He is in all places. He is Lord of Heaven and Earth. I desire a church in this place where your people may experience my compassion. All those who sincerely ask my help in their work and in their sorrows will know my Mother's Heart in this place. Here I will see their tears; I will console them and they will be at peace. So run now to Tenochtitlan and tell the Bishop all that you have seen and heard."

Juan, age 57, and who had never been to Tenochtitlan, nonetheless immediately responded to Mary's request. He went to the palace of the Bishop-elect Fray Juan de Zumarraga and requested to meet immediatly with the bishop. The bishop's servants, who were suspicious of the rural peasant, kept him waiting for hours. The bishop-elect told Juan that he would consider the request of the Lady and told him he could visit him again if he so desired. Juan was disappointed by the bishop's response and felt himself unworthy to persuade someone as important as a bishop. He returned to the hill where he had first met Mary and found her there waiting for him. Imploring her to send someone else, she responded:

"My little son, there are many I could send. But you are the one I have chosen."

She then told him to return the next day to the bishop and repeat the request. On Sunday, after again waiting for hours, Juan met with the bishop who, on re-hearing his story, asked him to ask the Lady to provide a sign as a proof of who she was. Juan dutifully returned to the hill and told Mary, who was again waiting for him there, of the bishop's request. Mary responded:

"My little son, am I not your Mother? Do not fear. The Bishop shall have his sign. Come back to this place tomorrow. Only peace, my little son."

Unfortunately, Juan was not able to return to the hill the next day. His uncle had become mortally ill and Juan stayed with him to care for him. After two days, with his uncle near death, Juan left his side to find a priest. Juan had to pass Tepayac Hill to get to the priest. As he was passing, he found Mary waiting for him. She spoke:

"Do not be distressed, my littlest son. Am I not here with you who am your Mother? Are you not under my shadow and protection? Your uncle will not die at this time. There is no reason for you to engage a priest, for his health is restored at this moment. He is quite well. Go to the top of the hill and cut the flowers that are growing there. Bring them then to me."

While it was freezing on the hillside, Juan obeyed Mary's instructions and went to the top of the hill where he found a full bloom of Castilian roses. Removing his tilma, a poncho-like cape made of cactus fiber, he cut the roses and carried them back to Mary. She rearranged the roses and told him:

"My little son, this is the sign I am sending to the Bishop. Tell him that with this sign I request his greatest efforts to complete the church I desire in this place. Show these flowers to no one else but the Bishop. You are my trusted ambassador. This time the Bishop will believe all you tell him."

At the palace, Juan once again came before the bishop and several of his advisors. He told the bishop his story and opened the tilma letting the flowers fall out. But it wasn't the beautiful roses that caused the bishop and his advisors to fall to their knees; for there, on the tilma, was a picture of the Blessed Virgin Mary precisely as Juan had described her. The next day, after showing the Tilma at the Cathedral, Juan took the bishop to the spot where he first met Mary. He then returned to his village where he met his uncle who was completely cured. His uncle told him he had met a young woman, surrounded by a soft light, who told him that she had just sent his nephew to Tenochtitlan with a picture of herself. She told his uncle:

"Call me and call my image Santa Maria de Guadalupe".

It's believed that the word Guadalupe was actually a Spanish mis-translation of the local Aztec dialect. The word that Mary probably used was Coatlallope which means "one who treads on snakes"! Within six years of this apparition, six million Aztecs had converted to Catholicism. The tilma shows Mary as the God-bearer - she is pregnant with her Divine Son. Since the time the tilma was first impressed with a picture of the Mother of God, it has been subject to a variety of environmental hazards including smoke from fires and candles, water from floods and torrential downpours and, in 1921, a bomb which was planted by anti-clerical forces on an altar under it. There was also a cast-iron cross next to the tilma and when the bomb exploded, the cross was twisted out of shape, the marble altar rail was heavily damaged and the tilma was...untouched! Indeed, no one was injured in the Church despite the damage that occurred to a large part of the altar structure.

In 1977, the tilma was examined using infrared photography and digital enhancement techniques. Unlike any painting, the tilma shows no sketching or any sign of outline drawn to permit an artist to produce a painting. Further, the very method used to create the image is still unknown. The image is inexplicable in its longevity and method of production. It can be seen today in a large cathedral built to house up to ten thousand worshipers. It is, by far, the most popular religious pilgrimage site in the Western Hemisphere.

***If we look carefully at the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe, we will discover that She was pregnant at the time of this apparition. The maternity of the Mother of God is so dignifying that it has the power to convert sinners. ***

(This blog is for all the unborn children... Our dear little Angels... Daddy and Mommy loves you sooo much!)

RED

2008-11-22T17:31:00.000-08:00

A new study shows the color red may make women more attractive to men.

Researchers at the University of Rochester, led by Andrew J. Elliot, PhD, carried out five experiments to see if what they call the "red-sex link" was for real.

The participants were undergraduate students whose average age was about 20.

In the first experiment, photos of women with white or red backgrounds were presented to male students. Women's photos with a red background were judged to be more attractive than those with a white background.

The second experiment involved both male and female students. Although male students found a woman's image on a red background more attractive than a white background, the female students did not.

In the next three experiments, male students were shown pictures of women on a red or different-colored background (gray, green, or blue) and asked to rate how attractive the women were.

The participants were also asked questions that went a little deeper, such as are you sexually attracted to this woman?

The women in red scored higher in being attractive and being sexually attractive; men also said they would spend the more money on the women in red than those in other colors.

It seems that color -- red or otherwise -- did not play a role in how likable, kind, or intelligent men perceived the women in the photos to be.

"It's only recently that psychologists and researchers in other disciplines have been looking closely and systematically at the relationship between color and behavior. Much is known about color physics and color physiology, but very little about color psychology," Elliot says in a news release. "It's fascinating to find that something as ubiquitous as color can be having an effect on our behavior without our awareness."

However, researchers write in an article presented with the findings that the "red-sex link" could be solely societal conditioning.

Red has long been associated with love, lust, and desire in history and literature. Images of the "red-light" district, red Valentine's hearts, and more come to mind. And as far back as ancient Egypt women have painted their lips red to appear more attractive.

(Hmnnn... So, let's paint the entire Kingdom RED then... Hahahaha! Kidding.)

friendship

2008-11-21T00:53:00.000-08:00

How can we recognize potential friendship? Signs include a mutual desire for companionship and perhaps a common bond of some kind. Beyond that, genuine friendship involves a shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop, and a hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life. True friendship involves action: doing something for someone else while expecting nothing in return; sharing thoughts and feelings without fear of judgement or negative criticism.

True friendship involves relationship. Those mutual attributes become the foundation in which recognition transpires into relationship. Many people say, "Oh, he's a good friend of mine," yet they never take time to spend time with that "good friend." Friendship takes time: time to get to know each other, time to build shared memories, time to invest in each other's growth.

Trust is essential to true friendship. We all need someone with whom we can share our lives, thoughts, feelings, and frustrations. We need to be able to share our deepest secrets with someone, without worrying that those secrets will end up on the internet the next day! Failing to be trustworthy with those intimate secrets can destroy a friendship in a hurry. Faithfulness and loyalty are key to true friendship. Without them, we often feel betrayed, left out, and lonely. In a true friendship, there is no backbiting, no negative thoughts, no turning away.

True friendship requires certain accountability factors. Real friends encourage one another and forgive one another where there has been an offense. Genuine friendship supports during times of struggle. Friends are dependable. In true friendship, unconditional love develops. We love our friends no matter what and we always want the best for our friends.

*** to my new-found friend Elizabeth***

EARTHBOUND SOUL

2008-11-20T03:07:00.000-08:00

This spirit roams the vacant corridors, searching for something that’s uppermost, in his mind. Disturbing the air, causing a chilly atmosphere, strange, eerie, a ghost of humankind. Continuously on his quest, he has haunted these aisles for centuries, decades and years. He cannot leave this sphere until he has solved all his trials and laid to rest his wretched fears. Earthbound soul, no respite ever, nowhere to go until released from torment and despair. How long will he have to wander hour after hour, with discontent, in an endless nightmare. This spirit roams the vacant corridors, in pursuit of another. He’s a despiser. Battle without end, perpetual exploration. The other is no compromiser.Possessed, this apparition, floating about, no sound, just a silent aura of unease. Will he still be suspended in his no man’s land, unable to move on. Abhorrer in crises.

(Go towards the light, my Dear... Now!)

You know what this word means?

2008-11-18T19:50:00.000-08:00

CONSCIENCE

- the sense or consciousness of the moral goodness or blameworthiness of one's own conduct, intentions, or character together with a feeling of obligation to do right or be good

- a faculty, power, or principle enjoining good acts

- the part of the superego in psychoanalysis that transmits commands and admonitions to the ego

- sensitive regard for fairness and justice

(Too bad some people DON'T HAVE CONSCIENCE...)

Oh, Dear Princess... It's just unfortunate that there are still people who undermine your Royal Power. They just don't know how intelligent you are. One hasn't seen the wrath that a scorned Princess can bring.

Such a pity...

WoRd FoR tHe DaY

2008-11-18T00:52:00.000-08:00

Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

MARTYR

- a person who voluntarily suffers death as the penalty of witnessing to and refusing to renounce a religion

- a person who sacrifices something of great value and especially life itself for the sake of the principle

- VICTIM especially: a great or constant sufferer

(Need I say more?)

You've Got Talent? Share it!!!

2008-11-16T05:07:00.000-08:00

I heard mass earlier at the "Cathedral of Saint Lucy" (Wink! Wink!) and the Royal Priest's Homily struck me. He was talking about our GOD-given talents... May it be singing, dancing, etc... GOD says we should share it with others.

I started to think about what had transpired in the last 34 years of my Royal life.

Yeah... Let's face it. I was born in a Musical Palace. The entire Royal Family is musically inclined. And YES... I know how to sing. Some even say I'm good at it. (Blush!)

Then, why am I trying to hide that fact? Lack of confidence maybe? Naaahh. I've got tons of it. (Right?! Teehee!)

I guess it's because I've always been the Royal entertainment provider, may it be in Royal Family gatherings or get-together parties with my Royal Friends. See, I want to know how it feels like to just sit and watch others perform... Or become a plain not-so-important guest even. Maybe... I just have my "ROYAL TOPAK" that's why I refuse to sing. (Which is always the case... Hahahaha!)

I think it's not a question anymore of "Am I doing my part to share my GOD-given talent?"... It's more of me asking all of you this question: "Are you using YOUR GOD-given talent?" HE might ask you one day as to what you did with the talent that HE gave you. You better be ready with your answer.

Have a blessed week ahead everyone. Here are lots'a Royal hugs and kisses from Her Royal Highness! ;o)

:'o(

2008-11-14T11:28:00.000-08:00

I'm breathing... But I'm lifeless.

I laugh hard... Yet my heart weeps.

I look okay... In reality, I am not.

Grace under extreme pressure... A true Princess indeed.

Oh, my... (Sigh!!!)

2008-11-13T00:51:00.000-08:00

Anticipating... And it seems like forever... Sleepless... Again... For the Nth time. Will this ever end? Would death be the only way for me to escape all this dilemma? (A big no-no... I'm still perfectly sane, okay? Don't panic.)

But wait... My heart is numb... I'm once more in a state where I can't seem to tell whether or not I'm in pain. I know I am overly battered. Should this signify that I've had enough? Then why am I still holding on to something I'm not even sure of? Is this the price I have to pay for loving unconditionally?

I love him... Very much... No doubt about it. Is he loving me less? I don't care anymore. Loving unconditionally literally means loving WITHOUT any condition. If this person's mission in life is to give me extreme heartaches, unfortunately, I'm all geared up for it... Not because I'm a masochist, but because I love truly.

My faith in HIM probably gave me so much strength, that I'm able to endure all these storms.

Badly wounded... Yet, still smiling... Odd... Soo odd... But true.

Her Royal Highness badly needs a hug... She really does.

HaPpY BiRtHdAy, my Prince!!!

2008-11-11T11:00:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to the one I love!
All my joy goes out to you today.
Perhaps I learned, the months you were away,
Part of me moves always as you move.
You're the yearning distance can't remove,
Bringing life to reveries cold and gray;
In thoughts of you my dreams and passions play,
Rejoicing in a hope that time will prove.
Today I celebrate your day of birth,
Happy in the hour that brought you here,
Drawn by all the music of your worth,
A time for gratitude that you are near.
You are the one on Earth I hold most dear.

(Lots'a hugs and kisses from Her Royal Highness..)

We were talking at exactly midnight. The Prince sounded so sad. His voice cracked, manifesting the extent of pain his heart is experiencing. I wish I was there to hug him tight. My Prince, I love you so much... Everything will be alright... Don't worry, I'll never leave you. Her Royal Highness is always here for you. Mommy misses you sooo much, Daddy.

The Royal Grandson had a blast...

2008-11-10T07:34:00.000-08:00

The Royal Grandson Raiehl Christofer arrived last Saturday at the Princess' palace. He slept at Her Royal Highness' room. He just played and played like there's no tomorrow. He is the sweetest Grandson in the entire Kingdom. I wish the Prince was here. RC was looking for the Prince. Funny because he asked me, "Asan po si Daddy mo? Si Daddy mo po ba si Lolo Ninong din po yon? Bakit umalis si Lolo Ninong? Asan po sya nagpunta?" Then I asked him, "Bakit, miss mo ba si Lolo Ninong mo?"... He replied back, "Opo!". Awww... Isn't he the cutest li'l boy in the whole universe?

Too bad he's going home tomorrow. I wish he could stay a little bit longer.

(Her Royal Highness) Lola Ninang loves you, Raiehl!

The Prince finally speaks of...

2008-11-08T12:01:00.000-08:00

It started with two missed calls. Then Her Royal Highness felt it was him. The Princess then went online... Alas! The Prince was there.

They heard each other's voices... And suddenly, the Princess was quiet. The Prince felt that there's a dagger in the Princess' heart, so he decided to talk.

The Prince finally speaks of... THE TRUTH. The Princess just listened while her entire being was pouring blood and tears. Half-done... The Prince admittedly told her that there are still a lot of things the Princess is totally clueless of. However painful it may seem, the Princess remained strong, as she was being whipped by what's really happening on the Prince's life. It never made her crumble... Though she looked devastated... THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS STILL THERE.

The Prince told her that nothing has changed... That there are just circumstances that he needs to take care of... For now. The Princess never uttered a single word in the entire process. She was just there, trying to digest every single word that the Prince is saying. She felt the Prince's love for him... He promised he'll never let go. The Prince said he is staying. There will never be goodbyes.

The Prince said "I LOVE YOU"... The Princess felt it was true.

See, the pain inside the wounded heart of the Princess is unbearable... Yet, she also opted to stay... And never let go. True love heals all wounds. Genuine love waits.

It's hard to explain why the Prince and the Princess' love for each other remains strong, come hell or high waters...

I guess it's because they both have faith in HIM... They constantly pray... Their souls chant the same wishes... Though they're a thousand of Kingdoms apart... That's the key.

Sleep tight, my Prince. I LOVE YOU, TOO.

Should Her Royal Highness Go On?

2008-11-08T05:50:00.000-08:00

Darkness falls so deep
I see you're havin’ a good sleep
But here I am, sitting
Here I am, wonderin’...
How come my tears are fallin’...
How come my heart's weary inside...

Should I go on?
Should I stay in your arms…
Should I still pray? and fight for our love?
Wish you'd wake up and hold me tonight
For tomorrow, I just might not be... right by your side…

It has been awhile, since you told me I'm still your life
So give me a reason, to hang on so tight
'Coz my fears won't be fadin' unless I hear you speak your mind...

This has been so tough, the pain is more than just enough
So lead me back to love, let me understand
Why I keep our love alive
When I've been crying all this time.
So c'mon wake up and tell me

Tell me, Tell me, Tell me, Tell me

Should I go on?
Should I stay in your arms…
Should I still pray? and fight for our love?
Wish you'd wake up and hold me tonight
For tomorrow, I just might not be... right by your side…

For tomorrow, I just might not be... right by your side…

(Oh, Consuelo *Acoustic Band*... You made Her Royal Higness' royal tears fall down. Super. I'm really gonna buy your album. i'm sooo excited!)

Don't stop the music... Puhlease!!!

2008-11-06T23:41:00.000-08:00

I dunno if the Royal Palace would agree on this...

The Princess will sing a fast song, even if she has colds. GHEEZ!!!

Move over Rihanna...

Please pray for me. (WINK!)

(Update: Her Royal Highness was offline the entire night. Whew! That was amazing!!!)

MISTY GLASS WINDOW

2008-11-05T10:17:00.000-08:00

rain falls
dark clouds are racing up above
i gaze in solitude
lookin’ through a misty glass window
’coz then it used to be the two of us

this empty room
filled my thoughts with memories of you
i turned and looked around
oh but found no sight of you
i guess it'll never be as true
no, no

starlight, all i need is you tonight
oh, starbright, grant my wish tonight
i'm begging you starlight, all i need is you tonight
oh starbright, get rid of this spell tonight

rain falls
dark clouds keep racing up above
yet still in solitude
oh, longing for you
i guess my heart will always be with you

my heart will always be with you

starlight, all i need is you tonight
oh, starbright, grant my wish tonight
i'm begging you starlight, all i need is you tonight
oh starbright, get rid of this spell tonight

oh

***************

This song's from the Prince. The Princess is happy.

(And they'll live happily ever after? I hope so. GOD is really good.)

This way? Or that way?

2008-11-04T23:56:00.000-08:00

Another sleepless night wasn't put into waste because it gave me a chance to think about a lot of things... And I mean, A LOT OF THINGS.

I had my long overdue self-assessment... And boy! was I amazed with all the stupidity I did for the past several years. No regrets though, 'cause one way or the other, I learned things... "The hard way", sad to say.

My personal deliberation coincided with the King's birthday (my Papa, who else?). If he was still alive, I'm positive he'll throw me in the dungeon where the dragons are. Gheez!

The Prince and I are not in good terms right now for a reason I cannot disclose. There are things we just want to keep for now. (HER ROYAL HIGHNESS HAS A SECRET... SHHH!!!) Even the members of Royal Family don't know what I'm talking about. (However, some Princesses from the surrounding Kingdoms know about it. Their my best chums. Wink!)

I've been having sleepless nights because the Prince is giving the Princess a cold treatment. If he'd only realize how much Her Royal Highness loves him dearly, and if he'll only open his heart to every details of what their relationship had gone through since day one, the Prince would probably have the compassion for the Princess.

Now, I'm in a major crossroad. I don't know which path to take. Hmnnn... Should I wait for a sign again? Naaahh. NEVER. I believe that nothing can ever surpass what true love can possibly bring.

It's either I go this way... Or that way...

I'll tell you soon. That's a Royal promise.

(Don't get me wrong though... I'm still loving unconditionally... And my faith is a hundred and one percent intact... That, I can't let go of.)

I am numb...

2008-11-04T10:14:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling a little bit weird lately... I know I've been through sooo much pain and yet now I feel numb. I can sense the pain allover me, but my brain is telling me not to feel the pain. Now, I'm so confused. I guess I just don't know myself anymore. Who am I? Where the hell I am. I used to know myself very well... Always knowing where I stand. Now, I am suspended in thin air... Not knowing what lies beneath me or what's above me. It's so damn hard. It's like never knowing if you still exist or you're just imagining that you're still alive. My heart is crushed... My tears keep on falling... But I don't know if anyone can hear me... I don't know if people still care.

Am I still alive? Or am I just making myself believe that I still breathe?

What on Earth have I done to deserve this?!

I'm not saying I'm an outstanding daughter, or the "best-est" friend one could have... I am not perfect. I commit mistakes... But I know I am good enough to be remembered.

I know how to love truly. Yet, I'm still being beaten... Over and over again. I'm battered. Life is harsh... Big time.

My entire being is shattered into the littlest pieces one could ever imagine.

All that's left is my unending faith... And my broken heart that loves unconditionally.